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The movie "Rezort" WARNING SPOILERS if for some reason you feel the need to watch this movie.... well I hope you like bad movies.

The setting is unusual, this time it is years after a zombie apocalypse where humanity survived and rebuilt. Zombies have been eliminated globally save for an island off of Africa where people can enjoy a tropical resort then go on safari to shoot up some zombies.

Obviously we know there's a problem with that idea, not just the crushing moral issues that most people may have with the idea of a society okay with exploiting their own dead plague victims (a point that the film tries to deal with in as ham-fisted way as possible) and the idea that they'd carelessly keep a global pandemic actively around, but the issue that this should be an incredibly finite number of zombies. One head shot and you have no zombie.

The other thing I frowned at right away was their statement that it was a war against the zombies. I really don't see global zombie pandemics as 'wars' cause the enemy are mindless cannibal corpses. It's like saying the zombies had some plan. No they're just trying to eat you and ya did something stupid. Though considering some zombie actions they might as well as gone Land of the Dead and just made it smart zombies.

Let's go over the cast of unlikeables
 Lewis and Melanie- Lewis was a soldier in the war, Melanie his wife witnessed her dad turn via webcam when his base got overrun. They're going to Rezort to try and overcome her psychological trauma.
Jack and Alfe- Two 'video gamers' whose team 'Smashed Up' in the game "Genocide" won a tournament to go to the rezort. They are the kind of idiots you expect to get eaten and they do. Jack survives the death of his friend and attempts to build more of a character, but it's clear he's there to spew some crap about hacking, etc. for the plot.
Sadie- Her ex-fiance dumped her before her wedding and she's on the non refundable rezort vacation. (yes the movie sub titles replaced every 'resort' with 'rezort'.)
Business Guy with Asian Business partners- They're there to pad out the body count further. He also makes the dumb statement of how they should invest in a second Rezort. Apparently he is as dumb as most of the world not understanding how a non reproducing 'species' would be wiped out no matter how little 'hunting' is done.
Valerie Wilton- The owner of the island and the 'visionary' behind Rezort. This movie takes a long time getting her killed.

Archer- Quiet veteran of the war and my favorite of the movie. He is actually competent and driven. He's at the Rezort because killing zombies is the only thing he knows. When things go south he is the only one that keeps his head and he actually feels like a human being that survived the zombie apocalypse.

The Plot-
Obviously things go wrong on the air tight state of the art security of the island that keeps the zombies locked behind pens and spread out using many 'hidden' fences. So here's a spoiler, Sadie isn't just there cause her ex dumped her. Nope she's there for a zombie rights activist group. She sneaks in easily into their control room, enters in a stolen login info and then uses a thumbdrive to pull files, except the device also runs a virus that kills the system after plot convenience amount of time so the people can be out on safari (surprised they didn't refer to it as "zafari") when all the state of the art security shuts down. It also activates the 'Brimstone Protocol', which is toted as the thing that won humans the war. What is Brimstone Protocol? Carpet bombing... Yeah the brilliant strategy that wiped out all zombies then saw us reclaim and rebuild as if nothing happened was mass carpet bombing. Oh and spoilers when they do it here it doesn't work apparently.

So yeah the movie is dumb. This is a 'state of the art system' Except everything is centralized and not on a contained or closed off system as somehow the hacker group gets the login information and designs a virus that works for a system they don't know. That shuts everything off except for whatever calls in the Brimstone protocol. Also this Pro zombie rights group has zero mention in the movie until Sadie admits to her espionage. They have no distinct goal other than I guess wanting the zombies to just be dead rather than exploited? Also the state of the art system is that everything is electronically controlled. Zombies in manacles out in the safari? Yup they're freed cause those are electronic cuffs. Zombie pen in the resort? Oh it has a flashing warning light to agitate the zombies and the electronic lock disengages when the system crashes (though our group encounter doors that remained sealed when that happened so I guess the virus was super smart). One zombie keeps being shown as if she retains some brains, but if that's the point it doesn't really go anywhere.

Now zombies rage through the rezort killing everybody and now that the 'fences' are down the zombies are free to march into our group while they are camping. Alfe dies as the rest stand atop the jeep and pick off all the zombies. Then in a continuity error Archer teleports to the ground a distance away and approaches the truck as their safari guide tries to find out what is going on. Then it's morning and several more dumb things are revealed, their freshly maintained truck (as in all the guides are checking everything before they leave) has just gone kaput due to plot troubles. It doesn't start and the guide doesn't even pop the hood to find out what's wrong. Nope he turned the key and it didn't start the jeep is dead to him. They somehow expended all ammunition beyond the clip Archer has and two loaded pistols, I guess they decided to camp out in the wild with zombies rather than head back to the resort after shooting for the day because.... plot. The guide then relays that over the radio he was informed that Brimstone protocol was activated and that evacuation protocol says they have to head to the dock, but with no jeep "There's no way we can make it in time!" Archer defines himself as more than just the quiet guy with excellent marksmanship by then calmly starting to walk. When asked he responds "I have a boat to catch." That's right things are dire, but he's still willing to head to their only known escape route cause as he points out, what else are they going to do?

The guide finishes reading his script and then realizes that if they make it to place A they can use the underground tunnels to maybe reach the docks in time... somehow. Archer is shown waiting for the group to start walking. So they begin the journey with Sadie trying to comfort Jack for brushing them off earlier at camp when they were trying to impress her with their fame as 'video gamers'. Lewis decides to challenge(for no discernible reason) Archer cause "Who put you in charge?" Archer warms me to him again cause his response is a calm and reasoned "You did when you chose to follow me." Lewis proceeds to thankfully shut up.

They end up against zombies from another safari group bypassing a bloody jeep and possibly more guns so they can run to another jeep crashed into a gate. Zombies sensing plot suddenly appear to give chase, the guide gets bit and they manage to have the presence of mind to scavenge a single hand gun from the jeep. There might have been more, but they do as little as possible to arm themselves and never choose any melee weapons despite the movie stating that only the zombie bite is infectious so they don't have to worry about blood splatter. Nobody so much as picks up a stick in this movie to stop a zombie. Lewis quickly shoots the guide, Melaine despite knowing why he does this is totally against his actions... cause I guess she wants to watch the guide get turned fully zombie and start running after them. I know it's part of her psychosis, but it's annoying how much she questions his actions and gives him zero support.

Plot forces a reveal that this outbreak is all Sadie's fault. Sadly this is cause Archer threatens to leave her behind if she doesn't come clean. Archer pointing out her very suspicious behavior the first night at the Rezort when she slipped away from the welcoming party and 'hacked' the computers. She admits to her espionage and working for the pro undead rights group, but states the obvious she didn't know any of this would happen otherwise why would she still be here? The plan was to download things onto the thumbdrive and get something against the corporation running Rezort. The stupid thing is that despite their virus causing the system to be corrupted and enact 'Brimstone Protocol' it seems the device actually did download files, which is stupid if the plan was to just wipe out the zombies via the carpet bombing. Cause Sadie admits to not being computer savvy at all so it's not like they needed to have it do that to convince her and if they still wanted that info Sadie should have known to leave that first night.

More stumbling about and running from zombies and splitting the group with Jack and Sadie spending some time on their own. Those two run into one zombie that decides to play dead and that doesn't want to attack when Sadie slips by him, but totally goes for Jack. Sadie of course gets bitten saving Jack and hands off the magical thumbdrive to him. He rejoins the group, who enter the tunnel. Archer discards his now useless rifle as it is out of bullets.

It is here that the movie reveals that morally 'ambiguous' corporation is EVIL! That's right this island resort was shown to have a refugee populace (why there would still be refugees on an island with the only remaining zombie population I don't know other than... plot?). However it's shown that the charity to help the refugees has been using them as stock to keep up the island's zombie population. Using heating lamps to 'artificially' age the zombies so nobody notices how fresh they are. Those fiends! The characters remark that the corp must be seeking to 'solve' the refugee crisis and keep there cash cow of the rezort running. I guess... Topical? Like the cream not something clever about current day relevance.

Jack gets bit and is mercy killed after handing over the mystical usb thumbdrive to Melaine. Then Lewis simply abandons the group climbing up a chain to flee a room being besieged on both sides by zombies. Melaine acts like he's a coward when he took the only viable and still open escape route. Archer tells her to climb and that he's got this. She does so and turns back to see Archer tell her to get to the dock before he opens the door he was holding shut and calmly walking with gun raised, ready to take out seemingly as many as he can before they rip him to shreds. I found him the most likeable character and he'd shown himself capable enough I wanted he to just survive at this point by sheer wish fulfillment.

Melaine joins Lewis upstairs in the rezort. Somehow in the span of a couple seconds he's run off and gotten himself bitten. Melaine hands her pistol off to him, so he can off himself cause that's not cruel and she still can't kill a zombie (but boy she has no trouble helping others kill them for her or telling others to take the shot), though she randomly picks up another pistol on the way out she had previously bypassed for no reason and never even checked to see if it was loaded.

It is at this point she wanders into being saved by Wilton, then confronting her about her rather inhuman scheme. Wilton tries to excuse her actions. They struggle, zombies get in. Wilton gets chewed up going for the dropped pistol. Melaine runs, bullrushing past the zombies to the outside. Despite all the talk of making it to the docks, she never even heads in that direction. Nope her lemming senses are tingling. She instead runs straight for the cliff by the ocean. Giant zombie horde suddenly in pursuit of her as the plot controlled bombs drop just behind her with out hurting her with even shrapnel or sheer concussive force. She dives off and is immediately spotted by the rescue crew of helicopters and boats. A news report states her as the only survivor and the thumb drive in her possession reveals all the 'damning' evidence of the rezort using refugees as zombie fodder. All the physical evidence of course just got leveled, but there is an inquiry going on and Melaine makes the statement about how humanity won the war but lost their humanity. Seems rather preachy for someone that if I can trust the wiki page handed her lover an empty pistol so he could fail at offing himself before the zombies tore him to bits.

Meanwhile in unknown bar, Archer, that dashing rogue is shown having a drink while watching the broadcast having escaped also. Which I frankly loved that they leave it ambiguous who he was other than a zombie war vet and how he escaped a seemingly impossible situation. He finishes his drinks and walks off to some unknown destination probably the next apocalypse as it is revealed....

Unfortunately it might have been pretty easy to escape the island as a news broadcast states "What's that?!?" as the cameraman focuses on hundreds of figures walking up out of the surf. Brimstone protocol and the laughable containment have failed and the zombies have made landfall on a main continent and are by happenstance heading directly towards another heavily populated refugee camp to swell their numbers and kick off another global pandemic it seems. Movie ends.

While I can understand some of Melaine's attitude, she witnessed something awful happen to her dad. It is even drilled home that she can't seperate the person that was from the zombie. If a zombie looks her way it must 'mean' something (though the movie pushes it with the one rather attentive zombie it never surmounts to anything and it is the only one to display that behavior). However her treatment of her husband is pretty callous as if she was unaware of this side of him and her move with giving him the pistol at the end just comes off as really vindictive even if it was loaded. She's sad when Jack is bitten, but doesn't admonish Archer for ending his life. Then again Lewis's behavior is all over and mostly plot driven. He's supportive of his wife, wanting for her to get over the trauma of losing her dad to the plague, but not forcing her to shoot the zombies unless she's ready. To him it is the right thing to do, it's an action that feels right and gives the dead peace. Then he challenges Archer out of nowhere when the man has yet to do anything than walk at the front with his rifle and call for a stop when he thinks he hears something as they head to the docks. Then in the tunnels he totally abandons them. He doesn't just climb the chain and then lean down and say "Come on hurry up the coast is clear up here!" No, he just finds the obvious alternate escape route and runs off cause now he's in full selfish survival mode and needs to find his death scene.
  • Playing: Warframe
  • Eating: Hot Goat Curry
  • Drinking: Mt Dew


United States
Current Residence: In front of a computer
Operating System: Dead Hamster in a wheel possessed by an Attention-Deficit Demon
MP3 player of choice: Cheap as I could get
Shell of choice: Hard chitin layered over necrotic animated flesh
Wallpaper of choice: Mental Dancing by MorkarDFC
Skin of choice: The hide of an abyssal drake flavored with the proper herbs and spices.
Favourite cartoon character: General Rattlor from the Masters of the Universe
Personal Quote: Wisdom teeth... proof we really don't know how to pick names...


Apr 25, 2017
2:15 pm
Apr 22, 2017
11:23 pm
Apr 22, 2017
4:20 am
Apr 18, 2017
8:26 pm
Apr 16, 2017
7:08 am


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putridCheese Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the fave
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Hellmaster6492 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the Fav!
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Thanks for FAVs!
atomcyber Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2016
Thanx a lot for favs!!
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Thanks for adding "Raider Design Sheet (grasshopper)" to your favorites.

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qlitched Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hello from the random deviant button <: y'know that has a 1/1000000ish chance of happening to you?
NecrosisBob Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2016
Huh.... neat, but I think the odds are a bit worse than that. Would have to know how they program the 'random' element.
qlitched Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well yeah, I'm just going by increasing number number of members
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